Well the first thing I did was... Talked to corporate (like a boss) Approved memos (like a boss) Led a workshop (like a boss) Remembered birthdays (like a boss) Directed workflow (like a boss) My own bathroom (like a boss) Micromanaged (like a boss) Promoted Synergy (like a boss) Hit on Debra (like a boss) Got rejected (like a boss) Swallowed sadness (like a boss) Sent some faxes (like a boss) Called a sex line (like a boss) Cried deeply (like a boss) Demanded a refund (like a boss) Ate a bagel (like a boss) Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss) No promotion (like a boss) Fifth of vodka (like a boss) S**t on Debra's desk (like a boss) Bought a gun (like a boss) In my mouth (like a boss) P*****d out (like a boss) Puked on Debra's desk (like a boss) Jumped out the window (like a boss) Sucked a dude's d**k (like a boss) Scored some coke (like a boss) Crashed my car (like a boss) Sucked my own d**k (like a boss) Ate some chicken strips (like a boss) Chopped my balls off (like a boss) Blacked out in the sewer (like a boss) Met a giant fish (like a boss) F****d its brains out (like a boss) Turned into a jet (like a boss) Bombed the Russians (like a boss) Crashed into the sun (like a boss) Now I'm dead (like a boss)

I don't love the 3:1 odds >.>