We have entered the Age of the Sniper. Since snipers are already well on their way to comprising roughly 3/4ths of the entire playerbase, it is going to get harder and harder for the rest of us to call them out for sorely needed nerfs.
Snipers know they are monstrously overpowered, and that their well-deserved nerfs will eventually come. Their job is to prevent that day for as long as possible (preferably until every non-sniper has quit in disgust). The solution? Trolling the forums.
The thing about snipers is that they think they are as smart as you or me. This has led them (and every defender of every other overpowered class in MMO history) to four basic arguments. At great personal risk to my brain, I’ve catalogued these and ranked each one on my patent-pending, 1-5 idiocy scale. A score of “1” means garden-variety nonsense from a not-overly-bright FOTMer, while a score of “5” means that an alien civilization would be completely justified in destroying our planet if they had wi-fi and read it. I’ve also provided you with a handy cut-and-paste response so that you don’t need to waste precious seconds typing new words to response to these.
Argument 1: “How can snipers be overpowered when a 12/29/0 spec Class X, a 0/31/10 Class Y, and a 27/0/14 Class X talking to each other over voice can execute a flawless coordinated attack and sometimes kill one of us? LOL”
Underlying Premise: Snipers cannot be overpowered if the coding of SWTOR literally permits them to take damage and be killed.
Idiocy Scale: 5
Response: “If we have to devote 2 or 3 people to killing you solo in all circumstances, you are overpowered. Warzones are 8v8, and we don’t get extra slots if your side has a sniper. Your argument is bad, and you should feel bad.”
Argument 2: “I did a pve parse on a test dummy. How can snipers be overpowered when TWO other ACs can do 1.2% more overall damage to a test dummy over 25 seconds? LOL”
Underlying Premise: Snipers cannot be overpowered if, on an infinitely long DPS parse, there is one short period where someone else does more theoretical damage to a PvE test dummy. This assumes the sniper isn’t actually lying about the existence of that short period of sniper inferiority (editor’s note: he is).
Idiocy Scale: 3
Response: “In PVP, the only thing that matters is burst. Even if DPS were all that mattered, you still kill everyone in 3-4 global cooldowns. Also, even apart from DPS, you have roughly 10 abilities that immunize you from CC and keep everyone else locked down pretty much indefinitely.”
Argument 3: “How can snipers be overpowered since I once saw a youtube video of a lvl 50 mercenary (who didn’t use any of his skill points because he wanted to play hard mode) kill some people, including a sniper? LOL”
Underlying Premise: Snipers can’t be overpowered if even one person playing another class can do well.
Idiocy Scale: 3
Response: “Some extraordinarily skilled people can take a weak class and kill mediocre keyboard turners, even if they are playing snipers. That doesn’t mean classes are balanced- the test is whether certain classes always win or lose even among people of equal skill level. I’ll admit that it is amazing that a sniper could be stupid enough to lose to someone else, but if anyone could do it, it would be you.”
Argument 4: “How can snipers be overpowered when this is a TEAM pvp game? 1v1 doesn’t matter!”
Underlying Premise: My 1v1 god class is probably inexplicably bad at pvp for some reason if there are multiple people on each team.
Idiocy Scale: 1
Response: “If you play a class that can beat everyone 1v1, it is extremely unlikely that your class is weak or useless in “group” pvp. Also, if the other team has to design their entire class makeup and strategy around dealing with you, you are still overpowered.”
