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Darth Seuss


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I do not know whether or now he has posted it on the forums in the shadows somewhere already. But I found the following on Reddit by Bright_Ephemera. So here is a posting of his glorious work with his new line added.

 

BioWare, we need to speak

About some gifts gone past their peak.

 

I didn’t think ‘HK’ was bad

And ‘55’ was not so sad

 

But somewhere this has got to stop.

My mailbox will surely drop

 

From all these goods that just don’t jive.

I do not like HK-5-5.

 

I do not want his jetpack junk.

I do not want his rifle clunk.

 

I do not want his yellow hat,

His high school yearbook, or his cat.

 

HK-47 rocked.

His meatbag stories awed and shocked.

 

HK-50 multiplied,

And left no place to run and hide.

 

At risk of seeming overdone,

You walked a line with 51.

 

But 55, oh, 55?

Who brought that bag of bolts alive?

 

And why exactly ain’t he dead?

(You said he won’t come back! You said!)

 

I do not want his gun. And, Lord,

I do not want his vibrosword.

 

I do not want the marketplace,

I do not want them in my base.

 

I do not want them in the mail,

I do not want them. They are fail.

 

I do not want him on my ship.

I do not want his droid death-grip.

 

I do not want him on my wall.

I do not want him here at all.

 

Next I hear, for loyalty,

A chapter of his POV.

 

Pray tell, what button do I press

To hear from him a little less?

 

Oh, won’t you listen? Aren’t you live?

I do not like HK-5-5.

 

Bright_Ephemera, your creativity knows no bounds I look forward to the addition of more lines as more HK-55 is spewed at us under the veil of a reward. :rak_03:

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