No Danger At All

[StarlessMoon]

Of all the places to get into an unexpected fight, Jien reflected, a weapon shop was probably among the worst.

 

It didn’t matter that the planet itself was so poor that the local weapons consisted almost entirely of actual blades hammered out of steel, much like the ones flying around her at that very moment, rather than vibroweapons. A weapon of steel would cut you just as surely as any more complicated blade, given a skilled and determined user. The sheer volume of projectiles flying overhead and bouncing off of her cover showed the latter, if not the former.

 

Normally Jien would have been thankful for a moment to think in an otherwise unexpected and rapidly-changing situation, but as this one had been brought on by the need to take cover to avoid bodily injury, it was not really detached from the need for action.

 

Her companion, who had also tried to make use of the same low shelf for cover turned slightly to Jien as if to share some insight on the evolving tactical situation. The slightly wry look in her eyes however, made it clear that Jien was about to receive not salvation, but sarcasm.

 

“So, do you want to keep negotiating?” Vai asked.

 

“Yes, though I may be willing to modify my starting position somewhat.” Jien replied, paying more attention to the rain of cutlery than to the flow of conversation.

 

Vai grabbed a few of the blades which had fallen nearby, and without looking, tossed them back in the general direction from which they came. “Isn’t it a sign of bad negotiating to change your initial position once negotiations have begun? It’s like introducing new terms to a bargain in the middle.”

 

“I’m not sure ‘Stop throwing knives at me.’ would really be an unreasonable rider at this point. Indeed, it may be a necessary precondition for further negotiation. Becides, should you really be giving them their ammunition back like that?”

 

Vai tossed another unaimed blade over the counter. “Just keeping them honest. Anyway, what if the partner in the negotiation has ended the negotiation though? Wouldn’t that make your request to end hostilities an unreasonable term to introduce?” Vai responded after a moment’s consideration.

 

Jien ducked and moved to a different counter as a very large axe cracked the shelf she was hiding behind. Moments after she left it. a hail of blades filled the gap through which she had just moved.

 

“I don’t see any evidence of that.” Jein countered smartly. “And even if they had, failed negotiations don’t always have to end in violence.”

 

“You’re arguing with your own personal history, but if you’d like, call it a hypothetical.” Vai answered far too quickly, leading Jien to realize she was heading as much into a conversational trap as she had apparently into a physical one.

 

“Fair enough. In that case, assuming that negotiations up to that point had been conducted in good faith…” Jien began.

 

“And I would say that in this case, just for the sake of argument, that it was.” Vai interrupted.

 

Her irritation over the interruption partially mollified by the fact that it did give her a chance to avoid an entire cabinet, now empty of knives, that had been used a projectile, Jien continued. “…that it would be time to employ other tactics to ensure possession of the item being negotiated over.”

 

Vai glanced over the counter quickly, and made a quick hand signal. Jien shifted to a nearby statue on a large pedestal as Vai also shifted to better cover.

 

“And what tactics would you begin to employ in that case?” Vai asked, reaching out to grab one of the blades that landed near her.

 

“I’d probably have you lay down some suppression fire as I moved to the door, and then cover your movements with rapid-fire pistol shots, eventually working our way to a more open area where we could escape.”

 

“An excellent plan, but one whose implementation would be much easier if you hadn’t insisted I leave the assault cannon and the rifle back on the ship for fear of attracting attention.” Vai said, gesturing to show her empty hands.

 

“Well, showing up with heavy weapons might have caused our negotiating partner to become aggressive.”

 

“Yes, how awful that would have been.” Vai responded, arranging a few knives on the floor beside herself, in case they might be needed. “Should I point out that we have an additional complication?”

 

“Oh, by all means, what would a hypothetical situation be without more complications?”

 

“Even if we could escape, we would still have to acquire the holocron fragment Aleris asked us to get, which is currently in the possession of our assailants.”

 

“They’re not assailants yet. Don’t try to force the hypothetical into reality. In direct reference they’re still negotiating partners.” Jien corrected, waving her finger.

 

Vai raised an eyebrow. “I’m not really into making fine distinctions like that, given the situation. In any event, as much as we’d probably both like to get further away from these people, it seems we’d have to get nearer to them first, in order to get that item.”

 

“Oh, no. I have the fragment already.” Jien replied with a wink, pulling the small object out of her pocket.

 

Vai’s look was one of nonplussed confusion, as if confronted my something completely unexpected yet totally mundane. “When did you…” she began.

 

“I swapped it for a fake when I was examining it.” Jien responded, cutting the question off.

 

“You don’t suppose doing that might have led to our current situation, do you?”

 

“How so?”

 

“Like perhaps they noticed the swap?”

 

“Oh no. If they’d noticed they swap, they’d likely have gotten upset.” Jien stated defensively.

 

“And maybe have started throwing things.” Vai stated, pointing helpfully at a spear that just at that moment stuck into a cabinet beside her.

 

“Which is nothing like our current situation at all.” Jien nodded, apparently agreeing only with herself.

 

Vai stared at her for a moment and flexed her jaw muscles. “So, why exactly are we still here?”

 

“I don’t know about you, but I was enjoying the conversation.”

 

“So was I when I was winning.” Vai said, disgruntled.

 

Jien reached into her pocket and pulled out a small object, turned the dial, and tossed it indirectly towards the source of the knives. “Well, let’s get moving then.”

 

“Grenade?” Vai asked.

 

Jien shook her head. “Smoke bomb. I’m trying to not attract attention.”

 

“Oh, good call, that. I’m sure that large amounts of smoke in a tightly-packed urban area made mostly of wood won’t gain us any attention at all.”

 

“It won’t if you get us out of here quickly.”

 

“Right. On it.”

 

Vai quickly shifted towards a gamorrean who was trying to work his way around their flank. The gamorrean swung his fist at her, which Vai redirected into a throw, sending the large creature right into the glassteel window at the front of the shop.

 

Even the gamorrean’s mass wasn’t sufficient to break the tough material, however the large pane flexed enough that it popped out of its frame and sent the entire window and the unwilling battering ram into the dirt street outside.

 

As the room exploded with foul-smelling smoke, Vai jumped out though the now-open window frame, and found Jien was already outside waiting on her.

 

Jien waited for Vai to get up off of the glassteel pane before yelling “Fire!”

 

The crowd in the street, whose attention had already been attracted by the sight of a flying gamorrean, suddenly broke into a panic of people rushing to get away, to help, or both.

 

Vai grabbed Jien’s elbow and began to pull her away from admiring the chaos they had caused. Jien snickered as they owner of the shop was hit in the face by a bucket of water thrown by a concerned bystander, but began to move away.

 

Together they hurried to the Hutt-owned spaceport and quickly made for the ship. Jien jumped into the pilot’s seat and didn’t wait for clearance before taking off and quickly boosting towards orbit.

 

Vai watched the sensors, but nobody seemed upset enough about anything they’d done to go to the effort to pursue them. She turned to tell Jien only to find her smiling and holding out her hand.

 

“What?” Vai said, baffled.

 

“You owe me a hundred credits.” Jien replied, breaking into a grin.

 

“What? Why?” Vai sputtered.

 

“You bet me a hundred credits that we couldn’t get in and out of this mission without you having to draw a blaster. You didn’t, so you owe me.” Jien snickered, entirely too self-satisfied.

 

“That’s hardly fair. You didn’t let me take my blasters, so there is no way I could have drawn them.” Vai objected.

 

“You seem to have forgotten about the wide bore hold-out blaster I saw you slip into your ankle holster, where it still remains.”

 

“That’s just a hold out! It’s not a real weapon. I’d only use that if our lives were in danger.”

 

“Oh, so we weren’t even in danger? I guess you owe me two hundred credits then, since you also bet me a hundred credits that our lives would be in danger the moment we left the ship.”

 

“I…” Vai started to say, before closing her mouth for fear of running into even more debt. “Fine.” She slipped down into her chair to sulk.

 

Jien began programming the navicomp for the hyperspace settings the computer had finally provided. “You know, you did say you wanted to get out and enjoy yourself some. If I’d known you were going to sulk I’d have left you behind.”

 

“I enjoy myself more when I’m winning.” Vai grumbled.

 

“Maybe that’s why I’m having such a great time.” Jien responded with a wink as she pushed the hyperspace levers forward.

[IsawaMitaka]

That was a wonderful read. I think you've got the art of Star Wars banter down pat. Had me smiling all the way through. Great work!