Docthebutcher Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 As I type this my beagle who is 15 years and 4 months lays quietly slowly dying of lung cancer which I found out on Dec 05 2016. She has a day or so left. Today has been a insanely hard day and I can't stop crying. I am 51 and a once billy bad ***. I do not understand where all that toughness went to but it hasnt gone anywhere it is still here. My beagles name is Paddles we have owned her since a puppy She is extremely attached to me. She grew up as Pups with my Siberian husky who i had to put down to a brain issue in Fen 2012 after that the beagle just glued to me. That was hard to deal with. My Mother Died July 2015 and I was okay as I talked to her about it and she was ready to pass on. She said my job is done I hope you kids can carry on. She died with NO fear. She had put down so many dogs with the nerves of steel. I dont know how she did it... By Friday my beagle will be gone. I am not sure what I will do because this is digging DEEP into me hard. Today I will attempt to destroy some kicking bags at the Studio..i know that will do nothing.... Death puts everything into perspective...even gaming oddly enough. My heart is ripped open.. This is My beagle Paddles today her eyes you can see it she is so tired and I cry like a baby even typing this... https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155643534123228&set=a.10151590841718228.615586.754168227&type=3&theater Len
djungelvraaal Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 She's a beautiful dog,I don't think there's anything I can say to ease that pain that you're feeling, just know that there are many of us who have gone through that same thing, having to say goodbye to a very loved pet, and I believe that most of us, if not all, know how your heart is breaking, and I can only speak for myself when I say , spend these days with her, knowing that as much as it hurts, and sucks in so many ways, she's brought you so much joy, and don't forget that I'm sure you've brought her just as much, people say that pets love unconditionally, I'm not sure I believe that, I believe that just like when it comes to people,love is something that grows, and just like respect, you have to keep earning it, and it seems that you have indeed kept earning hers for the past 15 years.
Ralei Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) Aw Len, I'm so sorry to hear that. I know what you're feeling. My Nana died yesterday - she was a wonderful lady and I'm thankful she got to spend this Thanksgiving with her huge loving family she raised before she left. I also lost my kitty to FIV recently - so I know losing a companion can feel just as painful. Its good that you're a softy, I think they deserve to be mourned and cried over. I know she's glad you're with her through this, since we all pass and the best thing you can ever hope for is to have someone who loves you to be with you to the end. Edited December 6, 2016 by Ralei
Joonbeams Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 Sorry to hear about this, and thank your for sharing the touching story. You and your dog were lucky for the time you had together. She was lucky to have someone like you and vice versa. I know there is nothing anyone can say here to make you feel better, but I really do wish you all the best in pulling through this!
Docthebutcher Posted December 6, 2016 Author Posted December 6, 2016 She's a beautiful dog,I don't think there's anything I can say to ease that pain that you're feeling, just know that there are many of us who have gone through that same thing, having to say goodbye to a very loved pet, and I believe that most of us, if not all, know how your heart is breaking, and I can only speak for myself when I say , spend these days with her, knowing that as much as it hurts, and sucks in so many ways, she's brought you so much joy, and don't forget that I'm sure you've brought her just as much, people say that pets love unconditionally, I'm not sure I believe that, I believe that just like when it comes to people,love is something that grows, and just like respect, you have to keep earning it, and it seems that you have indeed kept earning hers for the past 15 years. Thanks, this is ripping me apart inside like nothing ever has. The Jedi say there is no emotion, the sith use their emotions and there is a reason why. emotions are very dangerous and powerful. Right now I am weak in my legs hours balling like a baby. A pet will bring the biggest baddest man or woman down to their knees. So when I pvp tonight those victims of all of this pain will feel my tears lol in red hot bolts of energy Humor can hurt a aching soul sometimes
TUXs Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 I'm so sorry to hear about this...I'm a HUGE dog lover myself and they are absolutely a part of the family as much as anyone else is. They're pets, but they're loved as much as anyone is and they have an impact on everyone. You need to take solace in the life you've given her. You've loved her, cared for her and protected her for 15 years...that's better than most dogs do and she was obviously very blessed to have you adopt her. You'll never stop thinking of her, and that's ok...smile when you do...think of the love and life you shared with her. This is whee you need to be the strongest for her...no fear, no tears...smile at her and love her, like she's done for you for 15 years. I wish you luck...
blackphantome Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 I am so sorry for you, Len. I do not have a dog but I do have a cat. She is the lovliest cat one can imagine. I am 17 years old, in January 18, but I was able to feel fear and to feel pain. Hard pain. When my first cat died in 2010 the pain was so strong I never were able to imagine. What I want to say is that I can really emphazise with you, normally I do not handle with these topics because they make me really say but people like you now need ears that listen to you and that understand you. I do not want to be in your position right now, the pain must be horrible. Even tough I do not know you, probably you're living in America, another continent, I wanna wish you all the best and a thick skin and an elastic heart. Your dog loves you and will always do. All the best!! -Joel
Trynitris Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) So sorry to hear this. I'm 69, and have buried multiple pets in my time. My backyard is kind of a pet cemetery by now. We have three people generations of pets buried there: my husband's and my pets, my son's pets, and my grandson's pets. I still think of them all at times, especially that one cat that sat on my lap every night for 16 years when I watched TV. My thoughts are with you. Edited December 6, 2016 by Trynitris
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