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DEPRESSION 3: The Objective-r


Exosasa

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I like it. I think we should collaborate though, I can help you add drama to these clips! For instance... The message you give in the end, though poignant, is not conveyed as clearly as it could be.

 

In the end, as he melts into the lava, you should then have a flash to another scene, a group of other saddened sith, who obviously miss him, perhaps crying, comforting eachother, something, showing their loss of him.

 

As it stands, the end basically seems to mean the only loss is to the one stepping into the lava! You must pull at the heartstrings of the audience more.

 

The scenes could actually include showing the melter with his friends, having a good time... then next scene... the melter sits alone... looking alone and sad.... then next the scene the melter walks into the lava.... THEN the last scene is of the melter's friends showing their grief at THEIR loss! See? That would prove to be more gripping and theatrical!

 

It's still good, I just think more depth is possible!

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I like it. I think we should collaborate though, I can help you add drama to these clips! For instance... The message you give in the end, though poignant, is not conveyed as clearly as it could be.

 

In the end, as he melts into the lava, you should then have a flash to another scene, a group of other saddened sith, who obviously miss him, perhaps crying, comforting eachother, something, showing their loss of him.

 

As it stands, the end basically seems to mean the only loss is to the one stepping into the lava! You must pull at the heartstrings of the audience more.

 

The scenes could actually include showing the melter with his friends, having a good time... then next scene... the melter sits alone... looking alone and sad.... then next the scene the melter walks into the lava.... THEN the last scene is of the melter's friends showing their grief at THEIR loss! See? That would prove to be more gripping and theatrical!

 

It's still good, I just think more depth is possible!

 

Awwwwwwww yeah. Depression 4 -- Collaboration Depression :rak_03:

 

 

You pulled at my heart strings.

 

 

"You deserve praise, Solicron."

 

<3

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