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Bioware Update Logs [HUMOR]


EasilyIrritated

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Recently, someone came upon the shared checklists that the devs at Bioware use to update the game. Shared with you after some wrangling and a few shady deals. Many devs died to bring us this information.

 

 

- Fix lag issues across servers.

Resolved. Lag issues fixed by installing new ones.

 

- Chests do not drop correctly.

Resolved. Removed bras. Chests should now drop just fine.

 

- Bugs found in multiple flashpoints.

Resolved. Exterminator called. Appointment scheduled.

 

- Game loads too slowly.

Resolved. Added more alcohol. Game should be pretty well loaded now.

 

- Improved mounting issues.

Unresolved. That's not our department. Case forwarded to animal husbandry office along with a copy to all med staff.

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Recently, someone came upon the shared checklists that the devs at Bioware use to update the game. Shared with you after some wrangling and a few shady deals. Many devs died to bring us this information.

 

 

- Fix lag issues across servers.

Resolved. Lag issues fixed by installing new ones.

 

- Chests do not drop correctly.

Resolved. Removed bras. Chests should now drop just fine.

 

- Bugs found in multiple flashpoints.

Resolved. Exterminator called. Appointment scheduled.

 

- Game loads too slowly.

Resolved. Added more alcohol. Game should be pretty well loaded now.

 

- Improved mounting issues.

Unresolved. That's not our department. Case forwarded to animal husbandry office along with a copy to all med staff.

 

YES! This is needed in an overloaded forum of "I want free stuff because you did *x* and I can't make my millions anymore. Thank you :D

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Recently, someone came upon the shared checklists that the devs at Bioware use to update the game. Shared with you after some wrangling and a few shady deals. Many devs died to bring us this information.

 

 

- Fix lag issues across servers.

Resolved. Lag issues fixed by installing new ones.

 

- Chests do not drop correctly.

Resolved. Removed bras. Chests should now drop just fine.

 

- Bugs found in multiple flashpoints.

Resolved. Exterminator called. Appointment scheduled.

 

- Game loads too slowly.

Resolved. Added more alcohol. Game should be pretty well loaded now.

 

- Improved mounting issues.

Unresolved. That's not our department. Case forwarded to animal husbandry office along with a copy to all med staff.

 

forgot one...

 

- Harbringer keeps going down

Unresolved. She's a naughty little minx

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Actually, there should be a 0.01% chance that Kephess spawns from the Slot Machine and exacts vengeance on your character.

 

Hahah! Yes!! Or it might reskin your toon for a small amount of time as Kephess so you might wander about bringing wanton terror to all.

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Hahah! Yes!! Or it might reskin your toon for a small amount of time as Kephess so you might wander about bringing wanton terror to all.

I could go with that :)

 

Confirmed - Kephess takes over your body via slot coins and destroys Quesh in 4.0 (because really, who wants Quesh...)

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BUG: Ability lag happens under heavy server load.

RESOLVED: GCD increased to 10 seconds.

 

BUG: Basic Comms can be shared through the Legacy Bank.

RESOLVED: Legacy Bank can now only be accessed by the toon with the earliest creation date in the legacy.

 

BUG: Some helmets are missing voice modulation in cutscenes.

RESOLVED: Characters with helmet no longer speak but use sign language instead.

FUTURE IMPROVEMENT: Instead of sign language use datapad to write on.

 

BUG: Resource nodes in Strongholds can not be used by the next toon when Resource Exhaustion hits.

RESOLVED: Resource nodes can only be used once and then disappear.

 

BUG: Conquest Week "Death Mark" does not contain any Bounty goals.

RESOLVED: Completed Bounty contracts now count towards warzone victories.

(Internal note: talk to team whether this should apply to ranked or normal)

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Bug: Some Agents and Watcher Two enter a silent staring contest at the commterminal with out moving forward in the conversation.

Resolved: Watcher Two enjoys staring contests, and is telepathically updating your dossier with the next mission. First one to blink gets a memory wipe courtesy of a nearby and amused Sith.

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