Wasted weapons of chaos

[HypnoticMeat]

Let me preface this by saying that I'm going to be talking about the quest [Weapons of Chaos], which is a seeker droid quest related to the dread masters. If you haven't done it yet and don't want to hear about it...go away.

 

Ok, so I get the call from some sith lady who tells me the dread masters are being total buttholes and planting fear seeds all over the galaxy in what I can only assume is their own twisted take on the plot of Batman Begins. She gives me a fancy new archaeology - I mean seeker - droid and tells me to get to it.

 

Alright, ok, let's roll. First stop: Hoth...err, hang on. Is that right? Let me check my...yep, it says Hoth. Hmm...and Tatooine...Taris?

 

Ok, you get the idea. I imagine a lot of people's first thought when they looked at that quest was something along the lines of: "why am I going back to these terrible place?" I'll modify that for our friends on the RP servers: "why did the dread masters plant fear seeds in these terrible places?" It actually reminded me a bit of the first Austin Powers, when Dr Evil is outlining all his plans and #2 keeps shooting them down. Maybe something like:

 

Dread Master: Finally...our long sleep is ended. The wretches of this galaxy shall once again taste true fear. We shall soak their bones with it - make them howl like broken beasts. It shall begin...with Hoth!

 

Lackey: ...uh, Hoth? You know - I mean, no disrespect or anything - but Hoth is kind of...remote. It's really cold so, you know, not alot of people live there. I mean, it's pretty much just ice and stupid animals.

 

Dread Master: ...yes...of course. That was a joke. Ha. Ha Ha. Laugh.

 

Lackey: HAHAHAhahaahAHAahaHAHAHAAaauughgh...*whimper*

 

Dread Master: No...it shall truly begin...with Tatooine!

 

Lackey: Hsss...oooo...yeah, you see, what you did there? You kind of went to the other extreme. Because you know Tatooine, it's like...super hot...also, remote. You remember Hoth? Yeah, well pretty much replace ice with a desert that covers the whole planet, and you've got Tatooine.

 

Dread Master: ...yes...of course. That was a test. You have passed. But seriously...our dark work shall begin...with Taris!

 

Lackey: ...

 

Dread Master: ...Taris?

 

Lackey: *winces, shakes his head*

 

Dread Master: Aww come on guys! Taris. That's like a city planet right? Cities have lots of people!

 

Lackey: Yeah, but...remember? Taris was kind of...completely destroyed?

 

Dread Master: So? That was like a million years ago!

 

Lackey: Well...a bit more recent...

 

Dread Master: Whatever. Haven't they rebuilt by now?

 

Lackey: No, it's still umm...you know, still completely destroyed. Yeah, and the whole place is infested with these really annoying monsters. I mean infested...they're freaking everywhere.

 

Dread Master: Oh. Well that's good then. Hell, how about we just plant one in Corellia. They're still big time Republic right?

 

Lackey: Yes master...an inspired choice for sure...

 

I guess we should really be thanking the dread masters for their poor choices. Oh, and the sith lady too for making a mountain out of a mole hill and paying me good money to wander around for a few minutes on each planet digging up goofy stuff. The affected areas certainly looked cool - especially the glow rancor on Corellia.

 

But I tell you...those moisture farmers. They've got no idea how close they came to PANDEMONIUM!!!