direblaze Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 feel free to add your SWTOR based jokes here, i really want to read them, but nothing rude please! here are afew of mine. Why did the trooper cross the road, he was called a chicken and took it literally! Why do troopers find it hard to shoot and move at the same time? because it requires far to many keybinds than they can handle. How do troopers communicate? the only way they know how! 11 111 1111 11 11 11 111 why is it troopers would rather play an Atari over a playstation 3? because they can't handle a joypad with more than 1 button. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
INFOSEC Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 more jokes more jokes more jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) Two wookies walk into a Cantina and one takes a chunk out of the bar with his teeth,.... The bar man says, HOLD ON you're barred...... Wookies look at each other, GrrrrOwwaaKKWaawOO (what for) they say Cuz of the bar-bit-ur-ate (barbiturates) groan,, sorry...... Edited February 23, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) A smuggler was sitting outside his local Cantina one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a Jedi suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the Sith!" Now the Smuggler gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Jedi?" "My Master told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Jedi, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know." The Jedi reluctantly agrees, so the smuggler goes inside to the bar. "Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It's not that Jedi again is it? whispers the barman Edited February 24, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 One night, a Bounty Hunter come into a Cantina and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. "What's the matter?" the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight," explained the Bounty Hunter "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days." The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" Bounty Hunter "Yeah, except today is the last night." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Yesterday, scientists on Hoth revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred Troopers twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't park their speeders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Imagine his surprise when the Grand Master Jedi sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Edler. Shortly after take-off, the Grand Master Jedi began a crossword puzzle. 'This is fantastic,' thought the gentleman. 'I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Master gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance.' Almost immediately, the Master turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word that ends in 'unt' are refers to a woman?" Only one word leapt to mind... a vulgar one. 'I can't tell the Master that. There must be another,' thought the gentleman. Then, it hit him. He turned to the Master and said, "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'." "Of course!" exclaimed the Jedi Master. "I don't suppose you happen to have an eraser? " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 The Jedi Master shocked the congregation of Padawans when he announced that he was resigning from the Order and moving to a drier climate. After the teachings, a very distraught young padawan came to the Master with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Master Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kind hearted Master patted her hand and said "Now, now, Leia, don't cry. The Jedi Master who takes my place might be even better than me". "Yeah", she said, with a tone of disappointment in her voice, "That's what they said the last time too . . . " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) So a trooper tells his girlfriend. I left the force and took a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job." A Trooper pulls over a Jedi in his speeder who was speeding, Trooper "you were all over the road do u need glasses?" Jedi replied "No I do have contacts" Trooper "I dont care who you know your still getting a ticket A Smuggler tells his mother Im giving up the trade and ive opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" He said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything." Edited February 27, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mousestalker Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Q: Why do contractors collect bonus pay when flooring bathrooms on ice planets? A: They are working in a Hoth-tile environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amonette Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Lol some good ones there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefyandbeef Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 ok i got one, https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-tm2yyVSK9xw/T0ZnOp2GbkI/AAAAAAAAAhE/nY2rtU5ZkG0/w302/R2-D2.jpg and https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-oBoxAFxKyzE/Tzl4jTDvh7I/AAAAAAAAAgg/C6F6dpgN3dU/w402/chewy.jpg XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 The youngling comes home from his first day at the academy. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?" The youngling replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynomen Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Yesterday, scientists on Hoth revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred Troopers twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't park their speeders. Ok.................. had to laugh! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiningriver Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Adronikos said to me: "I like you, and you like me. So let's stop the talking." (Something along those lines) I told Adronikos: "Well, I like you, and you like me. I agree that we should stop talking and make some loving." XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reaperkeepet Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 /my sig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lainewell Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 haha this thread made my day :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpoeMeister Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Never let Yoda navigate!! Trooper: Master Yoda, are we still flying in the correct direction? Yoda: Off course, we are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 (edited) Four Jedi men and a Jedi woman were having coffee when one of the Jedi men tells his friends, "My son is a Youngling, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'talented'." The second Jedi man chirps, "My son is a Padawan. When he walks into a room people call him 'the gifted one." The third Jedi gent says, "My son is a Jedi Knight. When he enters a room everyone says 'Youre the chosen'." The fourth Jedi man then says, "My son is the Jedi Master higher than all of us. When he walks into a room people say to him 'Master we're blessed by your pressence." Since the lone Jedi woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh - My - God." Edited March 6, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 (edited) "Darling" says a Trooper coyly to his wife: "let's swap positions tonight". "What a good idea" she replies, "you stand in front of the ironing board, and I'll sit in front of the Holo-TV and fart". Edited March 6, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) A young Republican Comms Technician and his Republic Guard Captain board a shuttle headed through space on its way to Lunar 4. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the shuttle passes into solar cloud and the lights go out. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the shuttle emerges from the cloud, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Republic Gaurd Captain is setting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me instead!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Commanding Officer all at the same time!" Edited March 7, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpoeMeister Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 A young Republican Comms Technician and his Republic Guard Captain board a shuttle headed through space on its way to Lunar 4. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the shuttle passes into solar cloud and the lights go out. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the shuttle emerges from the cloud, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Republic Gaurd Captain is setting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me instead!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Commanding Officer all at the same time!" Good one!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lainewell Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 A young Republican Comms Technician and his Republic Guard Captain board a shuttle headed through space on its way to Lunar 4. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the shuttle passes into solar cloud and the lights go out. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the shuttle emerges from the cloud, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Republic Gaurd Captain is setting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me instead!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Commanding Officer all at the same time!" Nice one! hahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunazen Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) Q: Why do contractors collect bonus pay when flooring bathrooms on ice planets? A: They are working in a Hoth-tile environment. lol this one is my favorite Edited March 7, 2012 by Lunazen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lainewell Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Hope people post more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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