Orkz vs Jedi

[Yfelsung]

Just to throw a quirky fight idea at the forums, who do you guys think would win in a fight between the Jedi order and an Ork Waaagh (Warhammer 40k race)?

 

I think the Orkz could take it for two reasons related to Waaagh (Waaagh is both what they call a crusade/army and also a sort of psionic reality manipulation that all Orkz share, but are too stupid to use in anyway but instinctual).

 

Basically, due to Waaagh, I think Orkz could neutralize lightsabers in one of two ways:

 

A) If the Orkz realize that it's a sword made of light they're going to believe armor made of mirrors will reflect that light. Since the Waaagh effectively makes whatever an Ork believes is true to be true, then the mirror armor would work.

 

or

 

B) If the Orkz realize that it's a sword made of light, they're going to assume they've been using their flashlights/spotlights wrong and now, since they believe light can kill, all their light sources will now be giant light sabers.

 

This combined with their natural resistance to mind control means the Jedi toolbox is a little sparse.

[Rhudian]

A) If the Orkz realize that it's a sword made of light they're going to believe armor made of mirrors will reflect that light. Since the Waaagh effectively makes whatever an Ork believes is true to be true, then the mirror armor would work.

 

"If dem Jedee gits gots laza sordz dats made of light, an da Sif boyz gots red laza sordz, dozzat mean dem Sifs got sordz wit bits what go fasta den light? Wozzat mean?"

 

B) If the Orkz realize that it's a sword made of light, they're going to assume they've been using their flashlights/spotlights wrong and now, since they believe light can kill, all their light sources will now be giant light sabers.

 

Now I'm picturing a Mek with faster-than-lightsabers coming out of his eyes, and a flashy warboss with armor studded with LEDs that melt through steel.

Edited January 31, 2012 by Rhudian

[Smackwell]

Orks would win. And it's not even about lightsabers. They're not the ultimate weapon.

 

Orks are tough. They fight and fight and fight. They can carry on with huge wounds, and that would give them an edge.

 

Orks have numbers. Jedi are sparse. One on one, a Jedi is pretty awesome. But even a few clone troopers can take out a Jedi.

 

Orky know-wotz. Like you said, their hardware doesn't have to work. They just have to think it will, and it will. Shokk Attakk anyone? That would make a mess of the Jedi.

 

And finally, the Orks' ultimate weapon: their life cycle.

 

When an Ork dies, his spores spread out around him. In a few years, there will be an Ork growing under a mushroom, waiting to kill some Jedi. The more Orks you kill, the more Orks there will be!

 

The only way to truly take out an Ork colony is to destroy them all and then destroy the planet that you destroyed them on. Do that until there's no planets left in the galaxy, and sure, the Jedi win.

 

...but did they really?

[SeanNewBoy]

This is the silliest thread i have ever heard of.

 

That said, put another vote down for Orks, no one has added Gork and Mork into the mix with the wierdboys.

[Yfelsung]

I never even considered the red saber factor.

 

Interestingly enough, that would also mean if an Ork ever watched a Sith and Jedi fight, the Sith would be able to strike faster simply based on the fact the Ork believes the Sith is faster due to the red saber.

 

I also thought of a simple way to explain the Waaaagh for anyone without any Warhammer knowledge:

 

When physics and Ork belief disagree on something, Ork belief wins.

[Trieelion]

nothing in Star-Wars is capable of handling the 40k Universe, nuff said.

[TheLonelyTusken]

Obviously Vulcans.

 

Why?

 

Because Vulcans.

[Yfelsung]

Obviously Vulcans.

 

Why?

 

Because Vulcans.

 

When an Ork and logic disagree, the Ork wins.

 

Most of their guns don't actually have the mechanical parts necessary to fire, but since they look like a gun, smell like a gun and make dakka like a gun, they fire anyway, simply because the Ork believes they can.

[Rayla_Felana]

This is all quite true, have you seen how they make different missiles? they PAINT them different colours, have you seen their ships? literally scrap metal with a few jets on the back, want to know the BEST story the Orkz have ever hard?

 

An Ork Warboss (forget his name) literally went into the warp with the sole purpose of fighting the same Bloodthirster over and over for eternity, his idea of paradise.

 

Basically, Orks always win battles, just because they fight, they never lose, They'll come again and again, honestly, the height of the Jedi Order's numbers was 15,000 , just one Ork Waaagh! is near infinite, they don't have ranks or legions like we do, they just have never ending waves, they are only defeated when another gigantic force battles with them.

[Yfelsung]

My personal favourite Ork story is about the Warboss who entered the Warp and accidentally went back in time. He arrived in orbit of a planet he had been on several days earlier. Realizing he was still on the planet (as in, there are now two of him) he decides "Oi! If I killz me ol' self, I can get a backup of me favourite shoota!"

 

So he proceeds to storm the planet with his Waaagh, kills himself, takes his gun (so he now has two identical guns) and then absorbs his double's Waaagh into his own Waaagh, doubling it's size.

 

And, thanks to The Waaagh, since he's too dumb to understand the concept of a grandfather paradox, he didn't cease existing and just has double the troops and two of his favourite gun.

Edited February 1, 2012 by Yfelsung

[Foxfirega]

I'd give it to the Orkz over time via attrition. Every Ork that dies spawns more orkz at some point (unless the entire area is heavily incinerated - there's reasons beyond anti-horde utility that makes flamers and the like standard issue anti-ork equipment, after all; It's merely an amusing coincedence). Sure, they Orkz may lose the first few dozen battles.

 

Dat don' mean nufin'. All dat meanz is we's got a good fing ter WAAAAAAAAGH agains'!

 

Gots ter hand it to dem Jeediez. Dey's ded stompy, but dey's not Orks. Orks are da stompiest. Da shootiest. DA. BEST.

 

Should be fun, tho.

 

...I still think the most metal thing that would ever come out of a 40k/Star Wars crossover would be Orks vs. Mandalorians, though. That has the potential to be the most epic, knock-down, drag-out, no holds barred planet-spanning bar brawl of all time.

 

Doesn't even matter who wins or loses that, we ALL win.

[MazVN]

"If dem Jedee gits gots laza sordz dats made of light, an da Sif boyz gots red laza sordz, dozzat mean dem Sifs got sordz wit bits what go fasta den light? Wozzat mean?"

 

Hahahaha, awesome.

 

Although I don't think orks would like lightsabers nor like to copy them, no matter how effective one might be, they are simply do not look impressive (orkiz) enough. What big boss would want to run around with a small light beam of light when he could have a huge diesel powered chainaxe? that goes "chukka chukka" when he starts it up and sends blood flying all over the place when he hits people with it.

[shamrockjew]

I have never even looked at Warhammer 40k, my knowledge of the Waaagh was limited to Warhammer Online.

 

If this thread did anything, it made me want to go buy some 40k games and get to know these awesome guys.

[Yfelsung]

Hahahaha, awesome.

 

Although I don't think orks would like lightsabers nor like to copy them, no matter how effective one might be, they are simply do not look impressive (orkiz) enough. What big boss would want to run around with a small light beam of light when he could have a huge diesel powered chainaxe? that goes "chukka chukka" when he starts it up and sends blood flying all over the place when he hits people with it.

 

Why not a huge powered chain light axe?

 

They're Orks, physics be damned!

 

I'm sure they would find the lightsaber noise appealing...

 

Of course now I'm picturing an Ork turning on a flashlight and just going "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh" quietly to emulate the noise.

[Daovin]

The Orkz would make lightsabres the size of spotlights, and of course they would be red.

[Smackwell]

I have never even looked at Warhammer 40k, my knowledge of the Waaagh was limited to Warhammer Online.

 

If this thread did anything, it made me want to go buy some 40k games and get to know these awesome guys.

 

Orks are hilarious. They're whole thing is "make things big and deadly, and make sure they work at least some of the time." No sense of self preservation or anything. As long as they get a good fight, things blow up (preferably on their enemies), and it's loud, they're happy.

 

There was a game that Games Workshop made called Gorkamorka, that was all about the Orks. I forget the specifics, but it was about how they were in a derelict hulk that crash landed on this desert planet. The Orks sought to fix the ship, so all the Mekaniaks tried to fix it up, adding their own modifications to it. Over time, the Mekaniaks made the ship to look like their favorite god, Gork or Mork, and there was a huge fight over whether their new ship should look like one or the other. So they settled on calling it Gorkamorka. My memory gets fuzzy about how they came to that, but the point of the game is that the Gorkers and the Morkers go out to the desert to fetch part for Gorkamorka, dueling it out in buggies and bikes. It's pretty cool. Long out of print, but if you can find at least the books, they have a lot of cool info and stories about the orks.

 

Hahahaha, awesome.

 

Although I don't think orks would like lightsabers nor like to copy them, no matter how effective one might be, they are simply do not look impressive (orkiz) enough. What big boss would want to run around with a small light beam of light when he could have a huge diesel powered chainaxe? that goes "chukka chukka" when he starts it up and sends blood flying all over the place when he hits people with it.

 

Yeah I hadn't considered this. Orks like big, loud, and bloody. Lightsabers wouldn't fly with them.

[Yfelsung]

In a one versus one fight, who do you guys would be the best matchup?

 

Warboss vs Jedi Knight?

 

Weirdboy vs Jedi Consular?

 

Big Mek vs Jedi Sentinel?

 

I think the Weirdboy vs Consular would be the most interesting, but the Warboss vs Knight would be the most brutal.

 

Question is, can a lightsaber deflect shoota fire? They've never really shown Jedi deflecting really rapid fire weapons.

[UltimateKrucible]

This thread ignores one huge advantage in the Jedi's favour - The Force.

 

It's well-known to work on the weaker minded, so:

 

[Jedi meets Ork]

 

'This is not the Waaagh you are looking for'

 

'Dis ain't de Waaagh we is lookin for'

 

'You should turn around and go home'

 

'We's gonna turn 'round and go 'ome'

 

'And take up gardening'

 

'I likes gardenin'.

 

 

End of.

Edited February 3, 2012 by UltimateKrucible

[Yfelsung]

This thread ignores one huge advantage in the Jedis's favour - The Force.

 

It's well-known to work on the weaker minded, so:

 

[Jedi meets Ork]

 

'This is not the Waaagh you are looking for'

 

'Dis ain't de Waaagh we is lookin for'

 

'You should turn around and go home'

 

'We's gonna turn aroound and go 'ome'

 

'And take up gardening'

 

'I likes gardenin'.

 

 

End of.

 

Orks are INCREADIBLY resistant to psykers and mind control, nearly immune. It is likely this would also apply to the force.

 

Also, the Orks have the Waaaagh, which is like the force but better.

 

The Force still generally obeys physics. It moves things through the air, it channels electricity, it enhances the body but it doesn't really break any laws of physics.

 

The Waaagh, on the other hand, can break the laws of physics.

 

A powerful Jedi can force lift an X Wing.

 

A powerful Weirdboy can accidentally open a hole in space time and destroy everything in a several mile radius.

[UltimateKrucible]

Balderdash!

 

The Force isn't a psychic ability, it's what gives a Jedi his power.

 

It's an energy field created by all living things. Including orks. It surrounds us and penetrates us. Including orks. It binds the galaxy together. Whereas a Waaagh just binds orks together.

 

Sorry dude - The Force trumps a waaagh.

[Yfelsung]

Balderdash!

 

The Force isn't a psychic ability, it's what gives a Jedi his power.

 

It's an energy field created by all living things. Including orks. It surrounds us and penetrates us. Including orks. It binds the galaxy together. Whereas a Waaagh just binds orks together.

 

Sorry dude - The Force trumps a waaagh.

 

You just described the Waaaagh, except that the Waaaagh is an energy field that surrounds and penetrates anything within eyesight of an Ork.

 

You're talking about an ability that allows an Ork to time travel, kill himself in the past (to get a copy of his favourite gun) and then he doesn't stop existing or create a paradox.

 

An ability that causes all red things to move faster when Orks are around. Why? Because Orks think red things go faster.

 

An ability that causes a gun with no mechanical parts and no bullets to fire, simply because the Ork believes it can.

 

An ability that caused a statue of a god to ACTUALLY TURN INTO A GOD because the Orks believed it was a god.

 

An ability that allows them to travel through demon infested warp space and come out the other side with extra orks and more guns... where did the extra orks and guns come from? *shrugs* no clue, but they're there.

 

AND, if the Orks BELIEVE the Force is psychic, the Force will simply BECOME psychic force, because that's how the Waaagh works.

[UltimateKrucible]

Actually, that wasn't me describing The Force - it was Obi-Wan in A New Hope. Learn your Lore, boy!

 

And I'm still calling shenanigans on this Waaagh. I think you've greatly overestimated it.

 

It's a gesalt psychic field which alters reality slightly in a localised way according to the strength of belief behind it. That much is true. It requires a great deal of Orks to actually achieve this, however.

 

But it's not capable of overthrowing the galaxy on a whim - which is what you're implying. If this Waaagh was so powerful - how do you explain Ullanor, when the Orks got roundly beaten by the army of mankind?

 

And it doesn't nullify the central argument that a weak-minded ork would come under the influence of The Force with the wave of a jedi's hand.

 

*waves hand* This Waaagh is no match for The Force.

 

 

 

Gee, this is fun. I should really get back to work.

[Yfelsung]

Actually, that wasn't me describing The Force - it was Obi-Wan in A New Hope. Learn your Lore, boy!

 

And I'm still calling shenanigans on this Waaagh. I think you've greatly overestimated it.

 

It's a gesalt psychic field which alters reality slightly in a localised way according to the strength of belief behind it. That much is true. It requires a great deal of Orks to actually achieve this, however.

 

But it's not capable of overthrowing the galaxy on a whim - which is what you're implying. If this Waaagh was so powerful - how do you explain Ullanor, when the Orks got roundly beaten by the army of mankind?

 

And it doesn't nullify the central argument that a weak-minded ork would come under the influence of The Force with the wave of a jedi's hand.

 

*waves hand* This Waaagh is no match for The Force.

 

 

 

Gee, this is fun. I should really get back to work.

 

I didn't say it could overturn the universe, but it would overturn the force in a localized area.

 

Outside of that area, the force would act however, but within the area the Waaagh has shown itself capable of generally negating the advantage of psyker-type abilities (the force could generally be considered a psyker type ability. The psyker gets it from the warp, the Jedi gets it from the Force)

 

Since Orks are generally immune to the effects of the warp, it is not a huge stretch to believe they're generally immune to the Force.

 

And again, if we pull out Weirdboyz, which are about as close to an Ork Jedi as you get, Weirdboyz have some bloody impressive skills that cause far more destruction than I've ever heard the Force doing.

 

 

I mean, Force Push vs Psychic Vomit, come on.

[Loorlgh]

My knowledge on either universe isn't extensive enough to give a proper opinion, but I feel the whole WH40K universe is like a ultra-powered beast of a universe. All the different factions would easily be able to take out any counterparts in other universes, and need to be that powerful to balance each other out. You can't really compare 40K factions with those from other worlds, they are just a completely different calibre.

[Culveren]

If orks can kill space marines, they can kill Jedi. Nuff said.