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The Diary Of A Pubescent Padawan


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Entry #13


The Chosen One


Today I met a beautiful girl by the name of Janace. She is tall (taller than me of course), has long flowing blonde hair, blue eyes, and an overall nice appearance. Honestly it's like she came straight out of a Soap Opera holo. She is just absolutely perfect.


After spending a few hours of staring at her in class (I think I was drooling too) I decided to finally approach her.


I wish there was a Jedi technique that made talking to girls easier!


Anyway, Janace regarded me with a smile (she's such a nice person) and I asked her what her name was, and in turn I told her mine. We talked for a bit about nothing. Just school, The Jedi Code, and our respective masters. She told me how she pretty much excels at everything. From Telepathy to Lightsaber Combat.


Figures, she would never go for a guy like me. I told her that I too, excelled at everything I attempted, but she just chuckled and said "I can tell you're lying you know. Your mind is such an open book!"


We both laughed it off, but it was so embarrassing! She offered to tutor me on anything, and I chose lightsaber combat. We set up a time and day we would meet up to practice together.


Who would have thought that being crummy with a lightsaber would score me a one-on-one with a hot girl!


I wonder, can Masters give padawans advice on women? I know attachment is against the Jedi Code and all, but I doubt flirting is.


Entry #18


Lessons Are Going Well


Had a couple of one-on-one tutorials with Janace. Sheesh she's amazing with a lightsaber! We did a mock spar so she could evaluate how far a long I was. I estimated that she disarmed me in 30 seconds. She frowned and regarded me, but for me, it was a personal best.


I mean, she's just a padawan (and a girl) but for some reason, she's just so strong. She told me she specializes in Djem So, an offensive lightsaber form, which explained her unnatural strength. She told me that before I could even think about choosing a lightsaber form to train in, I had to brush up on my Shii-Cho.


Why is lightsaber combat so difficult? Better yet, why is it so important? I thought Jedi weren't supposed to fight anyway?


I like using my wit and cunning to get out of situations. My master said he liked me because of my sharp tongue and compromising nature. He said if I wasn't a force-sensitive then I would have been a politician.


I laugh to myself every time he says that, because I know it's true.


Entry #24


Meditating Is Boring


Me and my master meditated today in his chambers. Honestly, I think I was more asleep than anything. I mean, the whole premise of it seems to be nothing more than a power nap.


Closing my eyes.


Crossing my legs.


"Feeling" the world around me.


Finding my "center."


Yea, how important. I just don't understand the purpose of this. What can meditating do for me that pacing back and forth can't? Pacing back and forth is the best way for me to center myself.


Of course, if I confront my master about this, he would just say, "You will learn the importance of it soon enough, padawan."




"Advanced" Training


Janace told me that I was really coming along with my Shii-Cho mastery. Though she still creams me, she tells me that I'm putting up one heck of a fight. It's a shame my master rarely trains with in the ways of lightsaber combat. He's one of those Consular types, choosing to connect with the Force and stuff.


But hey, I would rather let someone like Janace train me in the martial techniques of lightsaber combat than my master.


No offense to him.


Anyway, she told me that I was just solid enough with my Shii-Cho to move on and choose my "specialization", for the lack of a better word. Out of all of the forms she described to me in length, Soresu is the one that seemed to fit me the most.


She told me that she knows little else about other forms, just basic stances and motions. Understandable, she was just a padawan, and she had her own form to master.


She advised me to seek my master for counsel on my chosen form (she obviously doesn't know him as well as I do) or to use the Jedi Library, which made much more sense.


I asked her if this meant the end of our time together, and she said no. She said we could meet up any time, even if I just wanted to talk.




Davin-1 Force-0


Entry #44


Mind Your Feelings


So I've been meeting with Janace more and more often then I ought to. I feel pretty guilty for neglecting my master for her (though he spends most of his time meditating in his chambers or in the library) but I can't help myself.


I mean, she's just so beautiful and talented. Who would NOT want to spend time with her?


Though it's not like I flirt with her constantly on a daily basis. Besides, my advances are clumsy at best. We talk about a whole of nothing, I say something stupid, we both laugh, talk more about nothing, and then we say goodbye. So smooth.


But, for some reason, I'm starting to have these.....dreams.


Their not visions, but they seem so real. It's just me and Janace together in the hallways, walking and talking, but what I say and what I think are two completely different things.


In my mind I would think thoughts that were highly irrelevant (and inappropriate) to the subject in which we were discussing.


And she would be wearing a pretty small robe.


I mean REALLY small.


I wake up and I just feel so dirty and ashamed. I can hardly look her in the face now. I'm sure if she caught wind of my inner thoughts, she would hate my guts.


I wonder if the Jedi Library has any information on puberty? We learned a bit about it in Health, but we merely scratched the surface.


I want to know how to deal with it!


Note To Self: Find out about those really small robes too.



To Be Continued.......

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I appreciate the support. I am now back and shall continue this story.



Entry #45


Fashion Sense


So my master might have found out that I have used the Jedi Library for "less than respectable" research.


But it's not like I did anything bad, it was an honest mistake really. I wanted to learn more about the world like any wise Padawan should, so I decided to study up on fashion. And it just so happens that I stumbled upon these rather small, frilly robes that women wear.


There's nothing wrong with that right? I mean a Padawan should be able to learn about stuff like that, it's not like I'm a kid or anything. And what's the worse that can happen?


Well my master decided that I could not control my "baser instincts" or whatever, then forced me to do some more meditation.


I'm glad he didn't find out what I was meditating about.....



Entry #51


Please Don't Crush Me


I finally worked up the courage to tell Janace about the "vision" I had about her. She (surprisingly) didn't lash out at me, instead she chuckled and said "Oh, you made me think it was something serious." I guess I might have been worried for nothing, but it's also quite eerie how calm and cool and she always comes off as.


Maybe it's because I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, which is something my Master warned me about. "Emotions are the pathway to the mind" or something or another. He always seems to have a phrase ready for everything, I swear he premeditates this stuff.


But that aside, the "vision" made me realize that maybe I've been spending TOO much time with Janace. What if it's gotten to the point where she thinks I have a crush on her!? She's right to an extent but, I don't want her to know that! I refuse to let the first girl I like turn me down!


Maybe if I tell her that we should take some time off for about...... I don't know maybe a week at most, then that'll be enough time for her to forget her assumptions about me.


There's no way this can fail!



Entry #58


Line Of Sight


I remember back when Janace barely even noticed me, and I would always notice her. But now that she has started noticing me, she can't stop noticing me!


Everywhere I go she's always there! I already told her a week ago that we should take a "break." Maybe she thought I meant strictly instruction, in that case I can see the misunderstanding, if I had been more clear than maybe this wouldn't be happening.


It's like the Temple is the size of a Hutt house now. An albeit small, skinny, Hutt house, if those exist. I've seen her in the Mess Hall, in the Library, on my way to my chambers, heck I've even seen her IN my chambers, dropping off a book to "help me refine my Soresu."


Maybe I'm overreacting, but I consider myself to be a very social person (more so than I should) but there are more moments out of the day where I wish to be alone than be accompanied with someone, even if that person is Janace.


If anything, our brief time away showed me that all my feelings simply came about because I was around her constantly, and that I WAS becoming a little too attached.


So that means.....my master was right?


Either way, if I walk down another corridor (that I could have sworn was completely empty) and see her pop out of The Force knows where, I might have to take a long vacation in my meditation chambers.


Davin - 1 Force - 1



Entry #61


A Good Knight


My Master sat me down and talked to me about my current status as a Padawan. He told me that I have potential, but I need to have more focus.


I then admittedly blanked out for a few sentences (my master's voice is so monotone) and then realized that he was beginning to mention the Jedi Trials. I immediately asked him if I was ready, to which he quickly replied "No." I really should have saw that coming.


Despite that however, he did mention to me some Padawans who were up for discussion. Some I knew, some I have never heard of in my life, but my heart skipped a beat when Janace's name came up.


I knew she was a terrific Padawan, but there have been terrible stories surrounding the Jedi Trials. Hopefully if she is selected to go about them, she'll come back in one peace.





Entry #79


Trial And Error


My master has been surprisingly drilling me on lightsaber combat a lot lately. It's almost as if he's doing it as a sense of urgency, like he's running out of time or something. I didn't think too much about it however, as I did manage to impress him on several occasions thanks to the tutoring of Janace.


My master said that I was well on my way, but he didn't say to what. I don't know if that means "well on my way to Knighthood" or "well on my way to actually being decent." Both of which I wouldn't mind.


Later Janace wanted to talk to me, she seemed really excited, then proceeded to tell me that she was given permission by the Council to undergo her trials. I had completely forgot that she was even nominated, and I was just as surprised as she was that she was allowed to do it.


Although we were both really happy, we were also sad too. A lot of things can happen to a Padawan during the Trials, so she insisted that me and her train together seriously until the day of her Trial. That way the training with her master, along with her additional training with me will surely prepare her.


But she made it seem as if I never tried against her before......


To Be Continued.....

Edited by MaceTowani
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Entry #80


The Darkside's In The Details


Earlier today I met up with Janace at the usual spot so she can begin her "intense" training sessions with me (because apparently the ones with her master weren't intense enough). We started out with a lightsaber duel, and I bested her. She was extremely impressed, saying that "I had grown tremendously."


Although I do like to pat my own back on occasion, what I did wasn't all that special. I just parried and ran from her until she got tired, then I nicked her in her sword hand, effectively disarming her.


I felt like I fought more like a coward than I did a Jedi, however Janace insisted that I give her some advice, to which I replied "You need to improve your focus."


The irony was delicious.


Next we meditated (oh joy!), she said that during her Trials she will have to face the "darkness within", and that she wanted me to meditate with her. We sat in front of each other and "centered" ourselves. Honestly I think I was fast asleep, but all I remember is waking up to hear Janace panting heavily. Before I could even approach her she waved me off and smiled, saying "It was nothing."


I suggested that we call it a day, and she agreed. She looked at me and smiled before heading off, though I wonder, did her eyes always have a yellow tint?



Entry #84




Janace and I usually spend hours at a time training with each other, and I thought today wouldn't be any different. When we met up I could tell that she was quite winded, something I never knew she could be minus the meditation incident.


She seemed far more eager than she should for someone in her condition, and I asked if she was okay, and she replied "I'm fine, really." And smiled, although it seemed forced. However being the sensitive and empathetic kind of guy I am, I completely ignored her physical condition and shrugged it off.


Our lightsaber duel didn't go quite as planned....at least for me. I thought I could beat her again, but instead she managed to pummel me at record time. She was much stronger than I had anticipated, perhaps stronger than she had ever been.


It was quite alarming, but I was also somewhat proud. I asked her if she wanted to meditate, but then she just said "No, I think we should call it a day." That surprised me but I couldn't protest. I was tired, and my pride was wounded.


However that just begged the question, what in the world was I going to do for the rest of the day? Train with my master for meditation practice?


It was in the middle of the day, and I had no choice. I went into my master's chambers, and then we.....meditated.


I just hate it, it solves nothing, it accomplishes nothing (other than giving me a good nap) and I honestly never know what I'm doing. You'd think my master would have taught me by now.



Entry #85


Paradigm Shift


Something really strange happened earlier in my training session with Janace, and now I'm starting to put the pieces together.


First she showed up a half an hour late (she's never ever late), and she's the polite type, so I was expecting to hear some kind of explanation, but she didn't give me one at all. She just pretended as if I didn't know she came late. Heck I'm not the type to question someone anyway.


Second, during our lightsaber duel, I kept getting these "chills." It was like a cold wind running down my spine, but only....sinister. I thought it was all in my head until I realized they went away after Janace had beaten me.


Last but not least, after I asked her if she was feeling alright, she glanced at me, and when she did, her eyes were yellow just like before. But at the speed of a blink, they were back to normal, and she smiled and said "I'm fine Davin, I really am."


I should be a responsible Padawan and report this to my Master, but I don't want to be labeled a slimy Gammorean rat and get her in trouble, so I decided that tomorrow I was going to head to the Jedi Library for some independent research.


Some honest research this time.

Edited by MaceTowani
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Entry #86


The Story Of Exar Kun


I visited the Jedi Library and decided to see if I could find stories on fallen Jedi. Although most Masters caution against actively searching for excerpts on Dark Jedi, they're just that, excerpts. So it's safe enough for Padawans to read and not get influenced.


It was there I stumbled upon the story of a guy named Exar Kun. I gotta admit, only a fallen Jedi could have a cool name like that. Anyway, it turns out he was extremely talented (like Janace), and then somewhere along the line he went on a massive ego-trip(something I assume Janace is doing).


Even though he was a really bad guy who started a war a long time ago, his situation doesn't really fit in with what Janace is going through. She's really down to Earth, and I'm sure ancient Sith spirits aren't contacting her in her sleep.


I guess the only thing I can do now is confront her myself in our next training session.


Wish me luck.



Entry #87


A Tale Of Two Codes


So....things didn't go quite as I planned earlier today. Maybe I shouldn't have antagonized Janace during our lightsaber duel.


See, this is what happened. We were fighting, and it was pretty much a stalemate. I was trying as hard as I could to keep it that way, but then there was a slight lull, so I decided to use that opportunity to say to her, "Janace, I think you're changing."


She gritted her teeth(something she has never done before mind you) and then said to me in a very serious tone "Are you going to talk, or fight?" Now normally I would have an "outer body experience" and catch myself before I could do something stupid, but she really fired me up after saying that. I remember continuing the duel, and deciding to stick to what worked the time I beat her.


So I drew the duel out, and I ended up disarming her again. I thought that would have been the end of it until Janace suddenly lashed out at me with a very intense Force Push. She made my shield look like a Tatooine slave house, and I ended up on my back. I was more shocked than I was hurt, and I might have been a little scared.


But when Janace approached me, she had a very worrisome(and innocent) look on her face. She helped me up, brushed me off, and asked if I was alright. I told her I was Okay, but then added that "She cheated." We both had a good laugh, and then decided to call it a day.


Now I know I should really tell someone about this before something bad happens, but on the other hand I really don't want to be called a "Slug rat" for the rest of my life.


I'm now honestly a tad fearful of dueling against Janace again. I'm lucky that she didn't break my neck! I guess I'll just train with my Master all day tomorrow. Maybe everything will blow over.



Entry #88


Do The Right Thing


So today my Master finally taught me how to truly meditate. He did mention that he sensed my mind was "clouded" and needed to be sorted out or whatever. It was during my meditation that I was able to find the true purpose of it. The one thing that held me back from telling someone about Janace was my own pride.


I cared more about my reputation than I did my own friend, and that's no way to live. I have a faint feeling my Master knew what I was going through, which was why he suggested I seriously meditate now. I guess it's all up to me to open my mouth about it, and then live with the consequences later.


But, I was hungry, so I went to the Mess Hall to grab a bite to eat. It was still roughly early in the day, so it was pretty empty. When I left I saw Janace in the middle of the hallway. I admit, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I saw her, because I remembered that I didn't tell her that I wasn't going to show up to our previous training session.


She approached me and spoke in a soft, even tone, as if she had just finished crying. She asked me why would I dump her for my master(Yes, she actually used the term "dump") , to which I apologized and said "It won't happen again."


Now correct me if I'm wrong, as I know that some people(especially girls) may have some possessive qualities, but this isn't normal behavior is it?


Okay, now I really need to nip this in the bud.



Entry #89


Too Little Too Late


I'm a little depressed right now, so I'll try and explain everything as thoroughly as possible.


Okay so first off, I woke up, brushed my teeth, washed my hair (It was actually really curly for once) and then I went to my scheduled meeting with my Master. I figured that I could use our meeting to tell him everything about the Janace situation, and everything will be okay.


So nothing bad can happen right? Wrong.


My Master informed me that a Padawan girl "lashed out at her Master during their training session." He didn't have to say a name, I already knew who it was. So what's bad is that now Janace has been locked up in her chambers with like, five different Masters to help her tame her inner darkness. As it turns out, she first battled her inner darkness during a meditation session with me, and then she kept doing it on her own.


She kept losing the fight, and her behavior became increasingly erratic. What's worse is that now she will not be allowed to partake in the Trials, perhaps for a very, very long time.


Oh and the best part? Since every Master in the Temple somehow found out that I was having secret meetings with her, and that I saw firsthand her change and didn't tell anyone, I was considered an accomplice. So now I have Mess Hall duty and on top of that, I have the privilege to work as a gardener in the Temple for who knows how long.


But I learned a very important lesson through all of this.....


Women are crazy.


Davin- 1 Force- 2


To Be Continued......

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