I understand not liking the wait, but I'd gladly take a 20 minute queue to be on a high pop server (my only free xfer option involves switching data centers and having big lag spikes in PvP).
I'm not sure if this would work but maybe you could quickly fire up the game and join the queue, timing it so you can walk away for a bit and tuck your kids in or whatever, then the character select screen will be waiting for you when you're ready to play?