I agree with every point in the OP. These are all must-have features. Rift started out listening to this misguided group, but soon after implemented a dungeon queue when they realized how many people could not find groups to do them at all.
I also think one of the main things WoW did that made it what it was, was to allow users to make add-ons. I know that's risky and tricky, but it has huge benefits to the strength and longevity of the game.
WoW is an old, worn-out, terrible game in many ways, that many people want to leave. SWTOR is excellent so far, and has the potential to take WoW's place as the pre-eminent MMORPG.
But some of these features have to be implemented for it to get there.