frauzet
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Posts posted by frauzet
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I don't care on what level of Coruscant they are right now, there is a sunset behind the taxi terminal Dek is walking into. Nobody can tell me otherwise!
Sorry for being late and skipping one comment. I loved all the latest chapters. Everyone staying true to themselves till the end. Do I hope Dek will change his mind somewhere in the future? Regret his decision? Of course I do. For me this wasn't about Linny being special, because she is. But every woman is special in her own way. In my interpretation this is about Dek not being brave enough to offer his heart to her, because there never is a 100% guarantee you don't get hurt.
I hope someone will catch him off guard one day. He's earned it.
I am looking forward to the epilog.
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
I admire the flow of the battle scene. Kudos!
Yet my favorite line was this one:
Worlds ceased to have names; they became coordinates, ordered by the priority of the resources marked for seizure.
Coordinates aren't homes for people. If you keep it abstract enough you don't need to let the countless deaths of civilians bother you. The horrors of the war against the Empire hide in the depths of this sentence.
Like Misha I am curious to see what the next chapter brings.
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I am with the others.
Also I liked this part at the end very much:
I found Nadel kneeling beside Fenel in the corridor. She had closed his eyes and his face had that ashen hue that only the dead can wear. Her eyes were haunted as she looked up at me.“I hope this was worth it, Markus.” she accused.
“I hope so too, Nadel.”
One more of those small details which make your side characters so real.
They all knew what they were getting into, and the high possibility of some of them not coming back. Still it's a very human reaction, this moment of searching for someone to blame.
I am looking forward to see if and how they will achieve the rest of their goal. Helping Linny will definitely make a huge difference in the final reckoning.
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
I am undecided as to whom the charming agent's loyalities belong to. He is supposed to be under deep cover, but I wouldn't put it past him to play both sides.
Spoiler for the new agent's possible identity.
Palloran sounded familiar, so I checked Wookieepedia, but my search came up empty. But when he introduced himself to Lia with his full name it made click. I take it this is not a coincidence? At least the personality fits
Ohh, I like! <3
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It's okay to love both Dek, and Tyrus, isn't it?
Tyrus reaction at the start was pure gold.
And “Guilt is a heavy burden, Markus, do not shoulder the load before you have to.” sounds like very good advice, yet it's easier said than done. It's interesting to see how different they approach the possible consequences.
I wonder if Dek would care less if his companions were not also his friends. The situation has to be much easier for Tyrus.
At the end it looks like Tyrus is going to take control of the operation. Looking forward to see if or when he will be challenged.
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Happy New Year to all of you!
I had hoped for some time to write between holidays, but RL kept me busy. Here's what little I did manage.
Thank you again, for bearing with me.
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#30
The echoes of our footsteps follow us. An army of ghosts closing in — if you believe in ghosts, which I don’t. Except for the shock collar being in the way, the hair at the nape of my neck would stand on end anyway. But you don’t work for a band of artifact rescuers without learning a few tricks. What’s usually haunting these sites is the wit of their constructors. People much cleverer than me. They not only knew about statics, but also about acoustics. And they knew about traps. While it’s always nice to have someone handy to disarm any traps you encounter, most of them can be avoided if you know what to look for.
Someone removed the markings from the pressure plates, yet their edges don’t fit as neatly as the rest, the joints are more uneven, and the sand and dust in between less consistent. Ce’na continues to save my life. I can almost feel her playful slap as she scolds me to pay attention to her lesson. The butt of her blaster presses into my palm. What I had to teach her in return wasn’t as helpful. It wasn’t enough.
“Nervous?” The Sith eyes me sideways.
“Someone cleaned up.”
“The remains of failed acolytes would reach the ceiling by now if they did not do so regularly,” Ciner explains.
“Guess that’s good for us,” I muse.
The Sith wrinkles his nose. “They would most certainly smell less pleasant than my present company,” he mutters under his breath.
Ain’t anybody can force me to take the bait! This one’s getting old anyway. “Yeah. And in order to get themselves killed, they must’ve triggered some traps. Can’t be many left still functioning.”
“Our trials are not a joke!” With brows knitted he looks slightly offended. “The traps are re-armed just as regularly. The position of Trapmaster of the Academy is highly remunerated.”
“Renumerated?”
“Remunerated. Compensated, rewarded, or, simply put, payed.”
“I got you at rewarded. Seems fitting if you don’t exaggerate his body-count. Is there some kind of bounty on acolytes’ heads?”
“Would you be tempted to try and collect one?”
I stop my search for traps to turn and look at him. “I’m a bodyguard, not a bounty hunter. I passed on that offer. Whatever you may think of me, I am not a killer.” Not anymore.
He simply nods in acknowledgment. I am not sure he believes me, but in our current situation it’s not worth discussing. If everything goes as agreed, I’ll be heading to an agricultural planet in a few days. We’ll not see each other again. If we don’t survive the tomb it’s even more pointless.
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
Happy New Year!
I suspect that was Marr's agent at the bar. I am looking forward to find out if I am right, and what implications there are if I am.
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There is not much left for me to say, than that I agree absolutely with Luna.
I am looking forward to see Tyrus in action
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
Games within games <3
Merry Christmas to you and yours, too!
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I agree, two more great chapters.
This made me laugh:
“I think I prefer Markus.”I rolled my eyes. “You’re not going to try and sleep with me are you?”
I am looking forward to the rest of Tyrus' story.
Happy holidays!
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As for Dek working with a sith, I don't do a lot of typical stuff and like to bend the rules a bit, sometimes it even works. I hate the general confines and like to see just how far outside the circles I can color before it all becomes a mess. Glad you're hanging with me.
Not sure my last comment came across as I meant it. You not doing a lot of typical stuff is a part of why I love your story so much. And in fact immo it often works so well, I have to actually think about it to realize it's not typical, if that makes any sense.
I am hooked, don't expect me to leave. I am glad you share your story with us. <3
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Nadel is great as a teammate, but, hell, I never want to piss that woman off.
It's good to know your limits
Somehow I get the feeling what lies ahead will make what they've been through seem like child's play. It's probably good they have a sith on their side. Which is a little bit weird talking about Republic characters.
I am looking forward to see them working together.
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
One thing is for sure, I don't envy Marr his meeting with the Emperor! Your description makes me glad I wasn't there.
I like the contrast between always cheerful Vowrawn and bad-tempered Marr at the end. The latter at least gives you the advantage of knowing it's time to tread carefully.
As always, I am looking forward to the next part.
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I think you need to be logged in to be able to send PM.
Just in case you don't intend to post future stuff on tumblr, I added you to ffnet, too, although I am not very active there.
Added the others, who mentioned their account, too.
*waves*
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Progress is still slow, 5.0 isn't helping
I hope you're all able to enjoy KotET, even though it may require some adjustments for individual head canons.
I am glad you like the boy's interaction. There will be more of it.
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#29
A map only helps those who use it. Force, why didn’t I think of the map earlier. I take down the backpack and start to rummage for the datapad. We know where the main entrance is, I know where the shaft ended inside the tomb — a shaft that is perpendicular. Not sure the map showed a scale, but it should help us to further narrow the area for our search down.
Before I can boot the thing, Ciner calls. “Over here!” He’s squatting not far from me, clearing away stones and rubble. When I reach him he as already uncovered what looks like a small emitter. He points to a small heap of stones a meter in front of him. “Tidy those away!”
Part of me objects to being bossed around. Now isn’t the right moment to start a revolution, though. I swallow what I am about to say, especially since he is working on a third spot himself. It takes only a few minutes to reveal four emitters, and clear the energy field in between them half-decently of the sand and rubble hiding it. We probably walked right over it in our previous search.
“How did you find it so fast?” I know he studied the map, maybe even memorized it, but still this was quick.
A slight hesitation, he blinks twice. His gaze doesn’t waver when he answers, “I am Sith. Sith are superior to Force-blinds.”
“Yeah, sure.” Force-blinds. I wonder what he’s seen of the galaxy. Does he take his private medic everywhere? First class cabin? The letters in ‘Sith’ can be easily rearranged, but it’s cleverer to bite back the quip. “We search, and search, and suddenly the Force tells you where the entrance is? Bulls.hit!” His smug grin irritates me. Granted, the Force exists, and in my time here I have witnessed its use more often than I cared for. Still, if it were this simple he wouldn’t need me. “You probably were just lucky.”
“Even my luck is superior,” he states with his grin growing wider.
“Finally I begin to understand why your kind make a habit of killing each other. Your insufferability is superior, too.”
“Insufferableness,” he corrects me. The grin is still there, but the lines of his lips look harder. A glint has entered his eyes. I am treading on dangerous ground.
“Yeah, that as well,” I mutter while I start to poke at one of the emitters. I am not done registering the sudden hum, when the Sith’ training blade sweeps the device from under my fingers. The energy tickles in my fingertips. My surprised yelp mingles with the clatter of the remnants of the emitter falling to the ground several meters away. The energy field sputters and hisses. “Kark! Are you crazy?” Hell, now I’m starting to ask superfluous questions. The weapon is a barely perceptible blur. “Be careful! I’d like to keep my fingers.” And any other extremities as well.
Ciner’s already dispatched two more emitters, and now pauses his swing at the last one. “I was careful. You kept your fingers.”
Watching the field collapse with the last emitter flying, I rub my still tingling fingers against my palm. He has a point. Doesn’t keep me from scowling at him.
“For someone taunting his jailer into electrocuting him on a regular basis you are quite touchy.”
“Glad we sorted that out. Almost thought you’re the one who’s touchy.”
Ciner’s eyebrow rising reminds me of something my brother used to say when we were still children. Guess he was right. One of these days my mouth will get me killed. The Sith looks like he is about to say something, then thinks better of it. Instead he kneels down to examine the access to the shaft he just uncovered. A kick, a little shove, and I’d be rid of him. He looks over his shoulder. The grin is back. “When you are done struggling with temptation, get the rope out of the backpack.”
It’s just a lucky guess. I already decided he isn’t able to read my mind. My thoughts were rather obvious. I concentrate on my task and retrieve the coil of rope. High quality, light, but durable, knots in convenient intervals. There is also a retractable rod we can use to anchor the rope above the edges of the shaft. I fasten the rope to the rod, and throw the other end down into the hole. It’s pitch-black down there. “After you, my lord,” I offer with a mocking bow.
Ciner shakes his head. “While I do trust you to a certain degree, I deem it unnecessary to put this trust to tests which can be easily avoided. You will go first, and I will be right behind you.”
I shrug. Here on the plateau it’s boring anyway. I could have thrown the rope in after him, but then what? There is nowhere I can go from here without proper equipment. I shoulder the backpack and climb over the edge, and down the first meters of rope. The Sith following me blocks much of the remaining light. I take a deep breath. Now is the right time to be glad I ain’t claustrophobic. The inside of the shaft is as smooth as I remember from my first descent. There is an eerie sound, I think is caused by the wind, like it’s bewailing our loss. And while the wind can’t bite me any longer, the chill oozing out of the walls grows with every knot in the rope I pass on my way down.
I’m glad when I reach the ground. My fingers are numb. I rub and flex them to get some feeling back. Ciner lands beside me with a thump. The sound echoes through the shaft. From somewhere in the blackness the cry of some animal chimes in. At least I think that’s what it is. I readjust my blasters, make sure they slide out of the holsters easily.
“No need to be nervous. There is no other lifeform nearby.” The Sith hasn’t lost any of his confidence on the climb-down. “Pretty dark down here. Something you failed to mention.”
Something I failed to remember. The others must have had already found the light switch when I arrived last time. The shaft ends behind the base of a statue. The gaps between the wall and the monument were wide enough to grant us access to the hallway without hindrance. I grope my way along the back of the base.
“Wait. I brought an illumination probe,” Ciner tells me, but I already take a step around the corner.
My foot connects with a smooth floor tile. The Sith yanks me back, yet too late. A ghostly purple glow blossoms in front of me. The tomb knows we’re here. It’s no longer the living things I am afraid of.
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I agree with Jenny, I liked all the gadgets they used. It is Star Wars, after all
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I like the details you add for your side characters. It's these small things that make them so believable. Like Tandy commenting on the new suit looking expensive, while she has to worry about being paid. That small, natural moment of distrust was there, even if it went as fast as it appeared.
As always looking forward to the next part
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
I wonder what Vowrawn's goal is. Is it something as simple as keeping Marr focused on his job? Probably not. Setting up Ravage and Marr as enemies? Why? Is he doing it just for fun?
I am looking forward to find out more.
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I am making a habit of being late.
First of all, thank you very much for sharing this fantastic story with us!
You had me enthralled till the end.
As I said before, I like the mix of confirmed suspicions and surprises you gave me at the end. Your characters are believable whether their role is big or small. I do hope to see some of them again. You filled a hole in the ingame narrative, and everything makes sense to me, something not every official Star Wars novel manages.
If this were a printed book, I'd store it on the 'read again shelf'. *saves bookmark*
Kudos!
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Once again a very enjoyable read. I chuckled several times. Nail polish, tsk.
The relationship between Dek and Linny is great. I like how he's trying to find the belance between giving her what she wants, and not feeling like exploiting her. Also I get the feeling she's gotten much closer to him than he's used to. Maybe it's good he has a task to distract him.
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
I agree, the description of intelligence is great.
Reasoning about Vowrawn is bound to leave knots in your brain, I suppose. Does Vowrawn see Marr as a pawn or or an opponent in this game of his?
Recruiting Tarkin seems to be a good decision either way.
I like their conversation, and I am looking forward to find out what the man will discover.
I get the feeling there is a lot to discover.
As always, looking forward to the next part.
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Welcome back, I have missed your posts. Hope things will start looking up for you sooner rather than later.
Thorns is one of my favorite characters on these forums, and I really have missed his insight of the world he has been so cruelly thrust into. It's not like he hasn't been truthful with Ciner all along about his role in all that happened. Thorns entire description of the plateau emotes such desolation in so few words, it still amazes me how you do that.
Anyway, happy the thread is not dead, and I am eager for more, when you have the energy and time to continue.
Agreed, I've missed seeing Thorns' wit! Really glad the thread is not dead and the story is continuing. Hope things settle down for you soon, but definitely, do what you gotta do.Thank you both! Your encouraging words mean a lot to me! <3
I remembered small steps are better than none, and I managed to get some words out of my lunch break.
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#28
The stone vanishes over the plateau’s edge. Frustration lent my kick more force than intended. “Kark!” The possible damage below isn’t the cause of my outburst, though. Neither is the dust. This time I took the wind into consideration. “Kriffin’ bantha dung!” I almost wish I’d hit someone’s head. Where is this damned ventilation shaft? The hole was small, but not this small. It has to be here somewhere. I know it has to be. By now we have crossed every square meter of the likely area at least twice. Fear the Sith will cancel our deal lurks at the corners of my thoughts. I launch into kicking the next stone. Anyone not wearing a helmet down there can blame themselves. “Farkin’ hutt’s a…”
“Enough!” Ciner interrupts me. “It is highly improbable the password to your secret passageway is comprised of expletives.” His gaze pans over our surroundings once more. The expected sigh never happens, no waver in his voice. “We will take the main entrance!”
“Wait! What did you say?”
“We will take the main entrance.” He has already taken several steps towards the edge. Hope he’s not expecting me to take the default way down.
“No, before that.”
“That your language will not help?”
“No! Yes!" I shake my head. "You said something about a secret passage.”
A smile plays at the corners of his mouth as comprehension dawns. “Of course.”
“Energy field!” we say in unison.
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I was pretty sure Dek could depend on Linny, still took her long enough
Thorns got some good connections to Coruscant's underworld. Some accident for Palder could probably be arranged...
Have I already told you how much I admire your style? I do, overall, and in this story especially.
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Marr
in Fan Fiction
I am not the first to mention it, but my favorite sentence was
“Now, where’s the fun in that? All the galaxy is our chessboard, Marr, and we have an army of queens.”If you continue to write him like this, I'll end up liking Darth Vowrawn better than Darth Marr
I only skimmed the discussion above, so please forgive me if it has already been said. The way each of us writes their comments might be one reason for any confusion, if there is any at all. While I may sometimes forget that what I am reading is in retrospective view, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. These kind of stories have a habit of blurring the limits of time. I for one enjoy stories where I have to pay close attention. Overall it is clear that Marr is talking in hindsight.
What's not clear is the way I write my comments. I don't know much more than Marr did in the past, when the events occurred, or maybe a bit more, because of your previous stories
. So while the events can't be changed and are clear to him while he narrates them, they are not for me as a reader. I can still hope for different outcomes where he knows this hope to be futile. My comments are never meant to sway the course of your story, though, only to convey some of the feelings reading your story has left me with.
Long Odds and Dames
in Fan Fiction
Posted
I should have known we could count on Linny! What a wonderful happy end.
Thank you very much for sharing this story with us! It has been a pleasure to read from start to end.